... as you might guess .. whatever I did as far as the family were concerned was wrong .. so as a family (only 5 of us) we convened to see my mother in the morning – my brother having decided over the weekend not to see his mother on her last birthday .. had to come down.
We tried to get my mother to talk .. to no avail ... and discussed a couple of minor issues .. not what she wanted to talk about I think ... but we were all twitching & so I just decided they had to go. I stayed and settled my mother ..
Our Healing Touch Therapist had come early to ‘do her magic’ with my Ma .. both spiritually and to make her comfortable. We’d had a long talk the night before & Janice is amazing & just said she’d be there for us both all along the way and at the end. I went back for my usual afternoon visit and my mother seemed content.
Showing posts with label Dying. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Dying. Show all posts
Tuesday, 21 October 2008
Mission Impossible - the journey cont ...
I have had an extremely difficult time .. with my mother saying goodbye to me, leave me in peace, I won’t need that done where I’m going to be next etc & telling me that I should get a life and don’t miss out .. & more particularly don’t let myself be the carer for my uncle, her brother-in-law! So she still knows what’s going on.
It was extremely emotionally traumatic .. as she was refusing her drugs .. and what next? It’s difficult finding oneself in that situation .. as I don’t get any assistance or support from our family. She also reconfirmed the crematorium and then a service in Cornwall with a final resting place in the churchyard. She said she’d wave at me as she went .. & I was to wave as I went past the churchyard every day ... difficult as I live 300 miles away! We laughed .. I have to .. – it takes the sting out, I guess?
I had to find out what was likely to happen, what the possibilities were etc – make decisions .. did I need to tell my brothers .. would she refuse her feed (which starts at 10.00 pm) ... in the event I felt I had to tell them, because if she had refused her feed ... and I had not told them .. it would have been terrible. As it happens .. if I did so .. I’d be wrong, if I didn’t .. I’d be wrong .. sometimes you can never win – but I covered the bases .. & she didn't refuse her feed .. but ..
It was extremely emotionally traumatic .. as she was refusing her drugs .. and what next? It’s difficult finding oneself in that situation .. as I don’t get any assistance or support from our family. She also reconfirmed the crematorium and then a service in Cornwall with a final resting place in the churchyard. She said she’d wave at me as she went .. & I was to wave as I went past the churchyard every day ... difficult as I live 300 miles away! We laughed .. I have to .. – it takes the sting out, I guess?
I had to find out what was likely to happen, what the possibilities were etc – make decisions .. did I need to tell my brothers .. would she refuse her feed (which starts at 10.00 pm) ... in the event I felt I had to tell them, because if she had refused her feed ... and I had not told them .. it would have been terrible. As it happens .. if I did so .. I’d be wrong, if I didn’t .. I’d be wrong .. sometimes you can never win – but I covered the bases .. & she didn't refuse her feed .. but ..
Thursday, 16 October 2008
Mission Impossible - the journey cont ...
The past 5 days has been a roller coaster of meetings, letters, phone calls etc with various clergy, the Nursing Centre and the Hospice on the gritty subject of my mother thinking about converting to Catholicism .. in her mind it has all faded .. and she’s happy with her Church of England faith, which has been a cornerstone of her life.
At least I opened the door for her and we’ve explored it and will continue to mull through religious matters as and when she wishes. Our Healing Touch Therapist, I know, will continue to provide my mother with an inordinate amount of relief – spiritually, mentally and physically and we now we have the support of the St Wilfrid’s Hospice http://www.st-wilfrids.co.uk/ for our predicament, their Chaplain has been up to see my mother.
My understanding is that the Hospice will ‘research’ our case and my mother and I will be under their auspices and ‘on their books’ for the remainder of my mother’s time on earth - & they offer a support service for me, should I need it in due course.
At least I opened the door for her and we’ve explored it and will continue to mull through religious matters as and when she wishes. Our Healing Touch Therapist, I know, will continue to provide my mother with an inordinate amount of relief – spiritually, mentally and physically and we now we have the support of the St Wilfrid’s Hospice http://www.st-wilfrids.co.uk/ for our predicament, their Chaplain has been up to see my mother.
My understanding is that the Hospice will ‘research’ our case and my mother and I will be under their auspices and ‘on their books’ for the remainder of my mother’s time on earth - & they offer a support service for me, should I need it in due course.
Friday, 10 October 2008
Mission Impossible - the journey of hope (1) (the beginning)
Well – what a difference a day makes?! Our Healing Touch Therapist (daughter/sister!), Janice, has obviously been doing a fantastic job with my mother .. calming her tortured soul and helping her realise that God is where ever she wants him to be. So my mother has (finally I hope) decided she does not want to convert to Catholicism ... I guess it was her way of saying I need a change ....
The Palliative Care doctor came from the Hospice & I understand that the terminology has been amended to be for Limited Life, as my mother is in a Nursing centre for the terminally ill: &is now not just for cancer patients, as it was earlier in the year.
We discussed the situation & Jill, the doctor, took the holistic approach looking at all angles and made instant decisions ... why on earth the Health Authority can’t do this & save a lot of energy time, stress, anxiety etc for the family, the carers & the Hospice, let alone their charge - the terminally ill patient suffering more than is absolutely necessary ... I do not know – do you?
The Hospice doctor was absolutely brilliant with me, and also with my mother & I hope when I go and see my mother today – we’ll both being seeing things in a different light.
The Palliative Care doctor came from the Hospice & I understand that the terminology has been amended to be for Limited Life, as my mother is in a Nursing centre for the terminally ill: &is now not just for cancer patients, as it was earlier in the year.
We discussed the situation & Jill, the doctor, took the holistic approach looking at all angles and made instant decisions ... why on earth the Health Authority can’t do this & save a lot of energy time, stress, anxiety etc for the family, the carers & the Hospice, let alone their charge - the terminally ill patient suffering more than is absolutely necessary ... I do not know – do you?
The Hospice doctor was absolutely brilliant with me, and also with my mother & I hope when I go and see my mother today – we’ll both being seeing things in a different light.
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