Mission Impossible - the journey cont ...(2nd post)

... as you might guess .. whatever I did as far as the family were concerned was wrong .. so as a family (only 5 of us) we convened to see my mother in the morning – my brother having decided over the weekend not to see his mother on her last birthday .. had to come down.

We tried to get my mother to talk .. to no avail ... and discussed a couple of minor issues .. not what she wanted to talk about I think ... but we were all twitching & so I just decided they had to go. I stayed and settled my mother ..

Our Healing Touch Therapist had come early to ‘do her magic’ with my Ma .. both spiritually and to make her comfortable. We’d had a long talk the night before & Janice is amazing & just said she’d be there for us both all along the way and at the end. I went back for my usual afternoon visit and my mother seemed content.

Mission Impossible - the journey cont ...

I have had an extremely difficult time .. with my mother saying goodbye to me, leave me in peace, I won’t need that done where I’m going to be next etc & telling me that I should get a life and don’t miss out .. & more particularly don’t let myself be the carer for my uncle, her brother-in-law! So she still knows what’s going on.

It was extremely emotionally traumatic .. as she was refusing her drugs .. and what next? It’s difficult finding oneself in that situation .. as I don’t get any assistance or support from our family. She also reconfirmed the crematorium and then a service in Cornwall with a final resting place in the churchyard. She said she’d wave at me as she went .. & I was to wave as I went past the churchyard every day ... difficult as I live 300 miles away! We laughed .. I have to .. – it takes the sting out, I guess?

I had to find out what was likely to happen, what the possibilities were etc – make decisions .. did I need to tell my brothers .. would she refuse her feed (which starts at 10.00 pm) ... in the event I felt I had to tell them, because if she had refused her feed ... and I had not told them .. it would have been terrible. As it happens .. if I did so .. I’d be wrong, if I didn’t .. I’d be wrong .. sometimes you can never win – but I covered the bases .. & she didn't refuse her feed .. but ..