It is such a difficult time .. I get in this morning .. to find that my mother had refused her feed overnight .. but that no water had been given – I do not think that the Care Plan had been established for this potential scenario ..
The feed had been started in the new regime of 500 mls during the day & 500mls at night – but my poor mother was in a lot of pain in the stomach & said she felt so thirsty .. gosh – what a desperate situation .. I feel so terrible for her, that she’s having to endure this ..
I settled her and left her to sleep – I hoped – and was grateful that Janice, our Healer, would be visiting in the afternoon and would guide my mother to a calmer more peaceful place ... thank goodness.
I wait to see what the Nursing Management will do .. I don’t have much faith I’m afraid .. perhaps things will be different?
Thursday, 23 October 2008
Wednesday, 22 October 2008
Mission Possible - Blog Readers do you notice the Change?!
As I expect you will have gathered we’ve had a roller coaster ride these last few weeks & I can’t believe what’s happened really .. & if it inspires anyone and opens minds to ideas = well & good.
We were back to mundanity this morning .. the dietician came .. to sort out the nausea, sickness, etc etc .. all challenges with a PEG feed – an intrusive mechanism .. but oh so valuable to my mother and I as she's still here. We’ve agreed that we’ll split the feed into two parts .. so Mum gets some overnight and some during the day .. lets hope it takes some of the nasty symptoms away.
My second visit .. she asked that I re read some of the letters .. and was amazed at the numbers – about 35 .. so I’m so chuffed that she’s so pleased: she said it was the best birthday she could have had – possibly the best ever! Then she just said that I was an amazing daughter and had done way more than she thought possible for her .. and ...
.. she just said she shouldn’t be here .. but we discussed the whys & wherefores .. I said I’d found it a really interesting journey, eye opening in so many ways, the people we’ve met along the way ...extremely emotional too. She said she was so pleased and had thoroughly enjoyed our conversations and how I’d made life fun for her and brought some interest into her situation.
We discussed masses of things .. her death, why she was still here, what to do with Hardwick her ‘TinTin’ terrier type dog, who is an amazing companion for her .. she can talk to him, keep him with her – we laughed at so many things .. and she seemed really happy.
Janice, our Healer, has really helped and a lot of the things stay in Mum’s mind .. and the fact that God will take her at the right time .. this seems to have settled her .. & the fact that the family got together to see her – solves one last puzzle for her. I reiterated again that Janice has said that she’ll be with us during my Mum’s last moments and I have to say that’s a mega relief to both of us: it will now be a lot easier. We can laugh together .. and see how long it is before God calls her: & I will now continue with my Mission Possible!
We were back to mundanity this morning .. the dietician came .. to sort out the nausea, sickness, etc etc .. all challenges with a PEG feed – an intrusive mechanism .. but oh so valuable to my mother and I as she's still here. We’ve agreed that we’ll split the feed into two parts .. so Mum gets some overnight and some during the day .. lets hope it takes some of the nasty symptoms away.
My second visit .. she asked that I re read some of the letters .. and was amazed at the numbers – about 35 .. so I’m so chuffed that she’s so pleased: she said it was the best birthday she could have had – possibly the best ever! Then she just said that I was an amazing daughter and had done way more than she thought possible for her .. and ...
.. she just said she shouldn’t be here .. but we discussed the whys & wherefores .. I said I’d found it a really interesting journey, eye opening in so many ways, the people we’ve met along the way ...extremely emotional too. She said she was so pleased and had thoroughly enjoyed our conversations and how I’d made life fun for her and brought some interest into her situation.
We discussed masses of things .. her death, why she was still here, what to do with Hardwick her ‘TinTin’ terrier type dog, who is an amazing companion for her .. she can talk to him, keep him with her – we laughed at so many things .. and she seemed really happy.
Janice, our Healer, has really helped and a lot of the things stay in Mum’s mind .. and the fact that God will take her at the right time .. this seems to have settled her .. & the fact that the family got together to see her – solves one last puzzle for her. I reiterated again that Janice has said that she’ll be with us during my Mum’s last moments and I have to say that’s a mega relief to both of us: it will now be a lot easier. We can laugh together .. and see how long it is before God calls her: & I will now continue with my Mission Possible!
Tuesday, 21 October 2008
Mission Impossible - the journey cont ...(2nd post)
... as you might guess .. whatever I did as far as the family were concerned was wrong .. so as a family (only 5 of us) we convened to see my mother in the morning – my brother having decided over the weekend not to see his mother on her last birthday .. had to come down.
We tried to get my mother to talk .. to no avail ... and discussed a couple of minor issues .. not what she wanted to talk about I think ... but we were all twitching & so I just decided they had to go. I stayed and settled my mother ..
Our Healing Touch Therapist had come early to ‘do her magic’ with my Ma .. both spiritually and to make her comfortable. We’d had a long talk the night before & Janice is amazing & just said she’d be there for us both all along the way and at the end. I went back for my usual afternoon visit and my mother seemed content.
We tried to get my mother to talk .. to no avail ... and discussed a couple of minor issues .. not what she wanted to talk about I think ... but we were all twitching & so I just decided they had to go. I stayed and settled my mother ..
Our Healing Touch Therapist had come early to ‘do her magic’ with my Ma .. both spiritually and to make her comfortable. We’d had a long talk the night before & Janice is amazing & just said she’d be there for us both all along the way and at the end. I went back for my usual afternoon visit and my mother seemed content.
Mission Impossible - the journey cont ...
I have had an extremely difficult time .. with my mother saying goodbye to me, leave me in peace, I won’t need that done where I’m going to be next etc & telling me that I should get a life and don’t miss out .. & more particularly don’t let myself be the carer for my uncle, her brother-in-law! So she still knows what’s going on.
It was extremely emotionally traumatic .. as she was refusing her drugs .. and what next? It’s difficult finding oneself in that situation .. as I don’t get any assistance or support from our family. She also reconfirmed the crematorium and then a service in Cornwall with a final resting place in the churchyard. She said she’d wave at me as she went .. & I was to wave as I went past the churchyard every day ... difficult as I live 300 miles away! We laughed .. I have to .. – it takes the sting out, I guess?
I had to find out what was likely to happen, what the possibilities were etc – make decisions .. did I need to tell my brothers .. would she refuse her feed (which starts at 10.00 pm) ... in the event I felt I had to tell them, because if she had refused her feed ... and I had not told them .. it would have been terrible. As it happens .. if I did so .. I’d be wrong, if I didn’t .. I’d be wrong .. sometimes you can never win – but I covered the bases .. & she didn't refuse her feed .. but ..
It was extremely emotionally traumatic .. as she was refusing her drugs .. and what next? It’s difficult finding oneself in that situation .. as I don’t get any assistance or support from our family. She also reconfirmed the crematorium and then a service in Cornwall with a final resting place in the churchyard. She said she’d wave at me as she went .. & I was to wave as I went past the churchyard every day ... difficult as I live 300 miles away! We laughed .. I have to .. – it takes the sting out, I guess?
I had to find out what was likely to happen, what the possibilities were etc – make decisions .. did I need to tell my brothers .. would she refuse her feed (which starts at 10.00 pm) ... in the event I felt I had to tell them, because if she had refused her feed ... and I had not told them .. it would have been terrible. As it happens .. if I did so .. I’d be wrong, if I didn’t .. I’d be wrong .. sometimes you can never win – but I covered the bases .. & she didn't refuse her feed .. but ..
Sunday, 19 October 2008
Mission Impossible - the journey cont ...
She is now exhausted .. but so appreciative of my visits and attention to her needs .. something that only a near and dear can tap into .. & ‘know’ what is required or wanted. We had a peaceful time just being together, holding hands with the odd hug – so important to the elderly .. but so often forgotten.
Her first question, after the initial good mornings, how are you etc .. – my mother is always polite and thoughtful about others .. even in her last chapter, is when is Janice, the Healing Touch Therapist coming next? Janice helps so much spiritually and physically with some very soft gentle massage on stiff or hurting points.
Linda, a friend, whose father was with us at Kestrel House, and who works with the disabled and who spent time with Janice looking at the Healing Touch Therapy – tried it on one of her clients - & the father said he’d never known his daughter be so relaxed and at peace: it is an amazing treatment.
Her first question, after the initial good mornings, how are you etc .. – my mother is always polite and thoughtful about others .. even in her last chapter, is when is Janice, the Healing Touch Therapist coming next? Janice helps so much spiritually and physically with some very soft gentle massage on stiff or hurting points.
Linda, a friend, whose father was with us at Kestrel House, and who works with the disabled and who spent time with Janice looking at the Healing Touch Therapy – tried it on one of her clients - & the father said he’d never known his daughter be so relaxed and at peace: it is an amazing treatment.
Saturday, 18 October 2008
Mission Impossible - 88th Birthday
We have had a lovely birthday – my mother has been so pleased with all the cards, photographs and letters from friends and family. She had a lovely morning with a Healing Touch treatment, and some prayers and a blessing by the vicar; my brother and sister-in-law & their standard poodle dog visited.
We’d had an excellent afternoon opening the cards and I was able to read them to Mum and interact with her .. and we had lots of laughs and lots of happy memories: she said she was amazed so many people remembered and said she’d had a lovely day.
I’d been in the right place at the right time - purely fortuituous - and had found some anemones and some narcissi – desperately early as they are spring flowers .. but my mother is so pleased to have them – they’re her favourite flowers. The anemones – the jewels of Cornwall and the narcissi – so fragrant.
We’d had an excellent afternoon opening the cards and I was able to read them to Mum and interact with her .. and we had lots of laughs and lots of happy memories: she said she was amazed so many people remembered and said she’d had a lovely day.
I’d been in the right place at the right time - purely fortuituous - and had found some anemones and some narcissi – desperately early as they are spring flowers .. but my mother is so pleased to have them – they’re her favourite flowers. The anemones – the jewels of Cornwall and the narcissi – so fragrant.
Thursday, 16 October 2008
Mission Impossible - the journey cont ...
The past 5 days has been a roller coaster of meetings, letters, phone calls etc with various clergy, the Nursing Centre and the Hospice on the gritty subject of my mother thinking about converting to Catholicism .. in her mind it has all faded .. and she’s happy with her Church of England faith, which has been a cornerstone of her life.
At least I opened the door for her and we’ve explored it and will continue to mull through religious matters as and when she wishes. Our Healing Touch Therapist, I know, will continue to provide my mother with an inordinate amount of relief – spiritually, mentally and physically and we now we have the support of the St Wilfrid’s Hospice http://www.st-wilfrids.co.uk/ for our predicament, their Chaplain has been up to see my mother.
My understanding is that the Hospice will ‘research’ our case and my mother and I will be under their auspices and ‘on their books’ for the remainder of my mother’s time on earth - & they offer a support service for me, should I need it in due course.
At least I opened the door for her and we’ve explored it and will continue to mull through religious matters as and when she wishes. Our Healing Touch Therapist, I know, will continue to provide my mother with an inordinate amount of relief – spiritually, mentally and physically and we now we have the support of the St Wilfrid’s Hospice http://www.st-wilfrids.co.uk/ for our predicament, their Chaplain has been up to see my mother.
My understanding is that the Hospice will ‘research’ our case and my mother and I will be under their auspices and ‘on their books’ for the remainder of my mother’s time on earth - & they offer a support service for me, should I need it in due course.
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